55 Funniest Christmas Vacation Quotes from the Movie

Christmas Vacation is the fourth Christmas film in a series of eight, which follows Clark Griswold’s family as they go on a vacation to Florida. From one misadventure after another, the group ends up visiting sites from around the world and in particular with many jokes about American culture. .

The “funny christmas movie quotes” is a list of 55 quotes from the movie.

55 funniest Christmas Vacation movie quotes

A family vacation, unless it’s with the Griswolds, is unrivaled. Here are the funniest Christmas vacation lines from Cousin Eddie, Clark, and the rest of the group, in celebration of the holiday tradition.

55 funniest Christmas Vacation movie quotes

You’re undoubtedly reciting National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (and the sequel) this time of year if you’re a fan of the 1989 holiday film classic.

So grab a glass of eggnog and a plate of Christmas cookies while you browse through these great statements.

Quotes from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Here are some of Cousin Eddie’s, Clark’s, Ellen’s, and the rest of the wacky Griswold clan’s funniest, weirdest, and sometimes unbelievable comments.

Cousin Eddie’s Funniest Quotes

“Hooray for the holidays! Clark, have a wonderful Christmas! Are you all set for some kissing?”

– Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie

Cousin Eddie, played by Randy Quaid, comes to stay with Clark Griswold’s family to celebrate Christmas in classic comic style.

  1. “Take a rain check on that, Art; he’s got a lip fungus that they haven’t diagnosed yet.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  2. “Oh, he’s just yakkin’ on a bone,” says the narrator. – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  3. “If it had nine lives, she’d have used them all.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  4. “Clark, save the neck for me!” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  5. “He was a pixie dust speaker on the Tilt-A-Whirl last season. He expects to be guessing people’s weight or barking for the yak woman next year.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  6. “Christmas greetings! Sh*tter was overflowing!” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  7. “I’m not sure whether I should go sailing down a hill with nothing but a piece of government plastic between my head and the earth.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  8. “Hooray for the holidays! Clark, have a wonderful Christmas! Are you all set for some kissing?” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  9. “That’s the present that keeps on giving all year long, Clark.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  10. “Oh, oh, there’s an RV there. Yes, I borrowed it from one of my friends. I took the RV and he stole my home. Isn’t this a nice-looking vehicle?” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  11. “My metal plate had to be replaced with a plastic one. I’d pee my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour every time Catherine turned on the microwave.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  12. “Clark, I’d want to see if I can fumigate this chair; it’s of high quality. How much did she cost you, if you don’t mind me asking?” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  13. “And if it’s not too much trouble, Clark, I’d want to buy something pleasant for you.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  14. “If only I had that money Catherine, I’d give it to that TV preacher who was ripping off that hockey guy.” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
  15. “Her eyes cross as she falls into a well. A mule kicks her in the face. They return…” – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie

Clark Griswold’s Famous Quotes

“Where do you believe you’ll end up? Nobody is going anywhere. This festive, old-fashioned family Christmas isn’t going to be missed.”

Clark W. Grisold, Jr., Clark W. Grisold, Jr., Clark W. Grisold

As Clark, the unfortunate husband, father, and patriarch of the Griswold family, Chevy Chase is memorable. Here are a few of his most famous comments, including Clark’s epic diatribe against his employer.

  1. “Is it okay if I refill your eggnog? Is it possible to get you anything to eat? Have you ever been driven out to the middle of nowhere and left for dead?” Clark –
  2. “I wouldn’t be astonished if I woke up tomorrow with my skull sewed to the carpet.” Clark –
  3. “Russ, it’s not going in our yard. It’ll be displayed in our living room.” Clark –
  4. “Worse? Is it possible that things might go any worse? Ellen, take a look about you! We’ve arrived at the gates of hell!” Clark –
  5. “God rest her soul, I was merely searching for something for my wife.” Clark –
  6. “It wouldn’t be the Christmas shopping season if the shops weren’t hotter than they are now.” Clark —
  7. “It’s a little nipply out, I mean nippy out,” says the narrator. Clark —
  8. “Oh, the stillness of a winter morning, the pure, fresh chill of the Christmas air, and an a**hole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.” Clark –
  9. “Liver Lips, eat my road grit!” Clark –
  10. “Where do you believe you’ll end up? Nobody is going anywhere. This festive, old-fashioned family Christmas isn’t going to be missed. No, no, no. We’re all on the same team. This is a full-fledged, four-alarm Christmas crisis.” Clark –
  11. “We’re going to keep going and have the happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye. And Santa is going to find the happiest bunch of a**holes this side of the nuthouse when he shoves his big white ass down the chimney tonight.” Clark –
  12. “Take a look, youngsters! It’s a deer!” Clark –
  13. “Let’s make some dust here, and eat some of my rubber!” Clark –
  14. “When what should come to my bewildered eyes but a little sleigh… and… Eddie, with a guy in his pajamas and a dog chain… bound to his wrists and ankles,” says the narrator. Clark –
  15. “It’s a one-year Jelly of the Month Club membership.” Clark –
  16. “I’m going to trap it in a coat and smash it with a hammer!” says the narrator. Clark –
  17. “Hallelujah! What the f*ck! What happened to the Tylenol?” Clark –
  18. “Kiss his crotch. Kiss the back of your head. Wishing you a wonderful Hanukkah.” Clark –
  19. “Oh, I was simply sniffing – a smile on my face. I was merely looking for a blouse.” Clark –
  20. “This home is dedicated to the Griswold Family Christmas.” Clark –
  21. “Hey! If you’re searching for a last-minute present suggestion for me, I’ve got one for you. Frank Shirley, my employer, should be here tonight. I want him brought here, with a big ribbon on his head, from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-as” Clark –

The Rest of the Family’s Hilarious Quotes

“I’m at a loss for words, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all miserable.”

— Griswold, Ellen

The remainder of the actors portraying the entire Griswold family is amusing, from Beverly D’Angelo as Clark’s wife Ellen through Juliette Lewis as Audrey. With these amusing phrases, the kids and grandparents will have you rolling on the floor.

  1. “A dump truck moving through a nitroglycerin facility couldn’t be heard.” — Lewis, Uncle
  2. “I’m at a loss for words, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all miserable.” Ellen –
  3. “What exactly is it? Is there a letter from the nuthouse verifying your reservation?” – Art Grandpa
  4. “Clark, put a stop to it. “”I don’t want to be dead for the holidays.”” – Ellen
  5. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who Take note of the time. I need to go to bed—plus clean my teeth, feed the pig, do laundry, wash the vehicle, and do my schoolwork.” — Griswold, Rusty
  6. “Honey, she’ll see it later; her eyes are closed.” Ellen –
  7. “It’s wonderful to be here. To go to the restroom, you don’t need to put on your coat, and your home is always parked in the same spot!” Ruby Sue –
  8. “Clark, Audrey is completely paralyzed from the waist down.” Ellen —
  9. “And, Toddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd Margo Chester says:
  10. “Honey, she’ll see it later; her eyes are closed.” Ellen —
  11. “All you have to do now is march up there and slug that jerk in the face.” Margo —
  12. “Where do you think you’re going to place a tree that huge, Griswold?” Todd Chester (Todd Chester) “Come over here and I’ll show you,” says the narrator. Clark –
  13. “Mom? This box has begun to meow.” – Rusty adverbial adverbial
  14. “Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!” — Bethany, Aunt
  15. “I’m hoping no one I know passes by and sees me in my pjs standing in the yard starring at the home.” Audrey Griswold is a character in the television series The Griswolds.
  16. “We’re not going all the way out here just so you can purchase one of those ridiculous Santa Claus ties, are we, dad?” Audrey – “I have one of them at home,” she says. Clark –
  17. “Your grandmother’s heel has a really terrible bur. I’ll pay you a quarter if you massage it for me.” – Griswold Grandma
  18. “He read somewhere that squirrels had a lot of cholesterol.” Catherine –
  19. “Is it audible? It makes a strange squeaky noise!” — Bethany, Aunt

Christmas Vacation Gifts with Your Favorite Quotes are a lot of fun.

Do you like the film? Christmas pajamas, t-shirts, and other excellent holiday presents include your favorite quotations!

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“Uncle lewis christmas vacation quotes” is a movie that was released in 1993. It has 55 funny quotes from the movie that are worth reading. Reference: uncle lewis christmas vacation quotes.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does Clark Griswold say in Christmas Vacation?

A: I dont want any of your do-gooding.

What does Eddie say in Christmas Vacation?

A: I dont know what you are going on about.

What does Clark say when he turns on the lights?

A: Well I would have to say that Clark is a bit of an annoyance because every time he turns on the lights, it makes me feel like my eyes are burning.

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